The little thing called LOVE - Part 1

Ravi looked up at the starry sky as the balmy breeze blew ruffling his hair, taking him to a different world. Ravi sat there in the garden of his posh house and thought of how different life could have been. He had everything one could ask for, professional stability, financial security, a high class fast moving lifestyle, he had everything....everything but one... love. The people he loved the most in his life, his parents, were no more. Ravi was not someone who was oblivious to the concept of love. He always tried to give importance to his personal life as much as his professional life. Today, he was wondering where he went wrong.

Ravi always knew that time would take away his most beloved parents one day. As a young well to-do bachelor he often used to think of how he would face the world without his greatest strength, the love of his parents. All his life he lived for them, as they lived for him.  So , what would he do when one fine day his greatest strength is snatched from him.  He knew that was the law of  nature, that would happen. 

It was his mother who gave him the answer " Its time for you to find your soul mate... We might not be there for long...I know you very well... You are a fighter and you win most battle..But you need strength, you need someone to love you, guide you, to inspire you...All these years you did it for us... Now you need someone else...You need to find your own definition of love and live with her for the rest of your life." Ravi never knew how, but mum was always right.. After all these years of high profile experience and worldly knowledge , even today he would have given a ear to mum's advice, no matter how illogical or impractical she might sound. She had a gift that no knowledge could surmount. The priceless gut instincts of a women

So, next 3 years he spent finding his soul mate. After going through loads of profiles both Ravi and his parents agreed upon one - Dr. Arathy.S. Being a doc she would understand human emotions better than anyone or so Ravi thought. His early day after marriage were the most beautiful phase of his life. Arathy was smart, intelligent and mature. She was willing to sacrifice and go that extra mile for Ravi and his parents. Mom and Dad were more happy than Ravi coz they found a daughter in Arathy. It was that time of the year when Ravi had to go for his official Euro trip. Every month he would be away for 2 months meeting delegates from all over the world and attending conferences. Every year Ravi would be worried about his aged parents but this time he was assured they were in safe hands of their daughter. 

He still remembered that day when he got the dreadful call. It was the worst summer in Europe and it appeared like even the weather was conspiring and preparing for the worst. 

"Amma (mom).." Ravi answered checking the number and realising it was from home

"Ravi.." the instant Ravi heard his dad's voice his mind got a tad disturbed. It was not usual for dad to call him and he sensed something was not very right.

"I want you to come back home soon. Amma is not well."

"What happened dad"

"Nothing....she just got some chest pain..she is insisting to see you... you know how she is...there is nothing to be worried just come home"

"Where is Arathy?..Can give you give the phone to her dad"

"Well....she is not here.... she is at the hospital with mum... don't try to call her too you might not get through to her mobile she was complaining that has got some issues. You just catch the next flight and come home son"

Ravi would have done it even if his dad hadn't said that.. His mind was full of thoughts about his mother... He had to be there... He had to go and hold her hand, and the minute he does that... she will be fine. As Ravi cam back home the moment he saw people gathered outside his house, he knew the worst had happened... 

He rushed and saw his beloved mother clad in white cloth from tip to toe... He fell on to his knees , lifeless. He just wanted to run away from there.. He just wished all this was a very bad dream.. He looked around at the crying faces, all staring at him..he couldn't recognise a single one of them... His mind was numb, he was loosing sense of reality.. he stared at his mom's face...that beautiful peaceful face.. which was his source of strength.. what wouldn't he do to see a smile on that face... he would fight the world to bring her back to life...  He held her hand and rubbed her palm..trying to rub in life..hoping against hope that she open her eyes and smile at him, one more time. 

Ravi struggled for months after that.. One quiet morning he was sitting with his dad.... No body talked in that house anymore... there was a silence of graveyard ever since mum was gone.....Ravi broke that silence this time..

"dad... .." he continued after a long pause and clearing his throat "Mom was happy in her last moments..wasn't she?.. did she ask for me?"

Dad was staring and looked completely blank... He was lost in thoughts....Ravi knew how much he loved mom.. He knew that dad was a very wise strong and practical .. Ravi considered dad to be the strong decision  maker of the family where as mom was just an ocean of love.. she didn't know much about life but she knew to love unconditionally... But after mom had passed away dad had changed to a completely different person... he was not the strong pillar of the family anymore... he seemed broken from inside..

"Well..." Dad took a deep breath and continued with moist eyes..."she did ask for you... she was very conscious and knew that you were not here... she asked for Arathy as well....she kept calling out her name until she fell unconscious..."

"Was Arathy not there at that time..?" Ravi was puzzled.

"No...we tried calling her when your mom got the chest pain that day morning..but she didn't pick up... she must have been busy....then we had to call the cab driver...You know I couldn't drive coz of my arthritis.... then the driver took almost an hour to come.. Meanwhile your mum was ok... at least she said she was ok...she told she was feeling  better.. she lied down on that couch and had water... then she talked to me a lot...unusually..about our days as young married couple... before you were born...I was getting all uncomfortable coz she sounded like she was going to die.. and I asked her to shut up... she obliged, as always.." Dad wiped his tears..

"But...why.." Ravi cleared his chocked throat and continued...."why didn't Arathy pick up the call.. did you talk to her? Did something happen at this house after I left? Everything was so perfect... I was so happy and assured that nothing wrong would happen as she was here"

"Things haven't been the same as before since you left... Arathy rarely used to talk to us... may be the work pressure but we never forced her as well... Mum was a bit upset coz she would wait the whole day to see her daughter come home and then they could watch and discuss about the late night TV shows or occasional walk to the temple or lend a helping hand at the kitchen but none of that happend. She would go straight to her room and come only for dinner.. I told your mom that it was the younger generation, Arathy was not like her... she is smart , educated doctor..she has more serious responsibilities than talking about TV shows. I also warned your mom not to tell you and make an issue about this. You know your mom... she is stupid... takes everything at heart... Things got bit worse when she began to ignore our phone calls as well... I have told your mom thousand times not to disturb Arathy while she is at work... but whenever your mom had doubt about a medicine she would call up her daughter. Lately she had started ignoring her calls as well.I used to make fun of your mum when she couldn't get her online. I was practical about it.. I knew she was busy with other patients and could understand that. Your mother was breaking up.. She loved her daughter more than you and to get ignored by someone you love is painful. So I tried talking to Arathy but then realised she wasn't interested. She told me that we could discuss it when you come back. I thought it was bit rude to say that but I just kept quiet . That night when I told this to your mother she cried.. she dug her head in my chest and cried saying sorry for making me go and ask Arathy. Your mom felt I got insulted 'coz of her. We never discussed this with you coz we didn't want to ruin the air between you two."

Tears were rolling down Ravi's eyes.... He realised his mom could have been still alive.. He rushed out of the house and drove to the hospital where Arathy worked... He stormed into her clinic... 

"I want to talk to you. ...Right now... Take a couple of hours break and come."

They both drove to their favourite spot in the city - the beach..

As they walked along the beach Ravi started talking

"I want to know everything that happened after I was gone. Dad already told me. I want to hear it from you as well."

"What? Nothing happened...everything was normal...Mom was fine until that day.. nothing had changed since you went."

"Oh yes it did!! ..Ravi was losing his cool..." You stopped talking to my parents.... you stopped talking to mom... you stopped being yourself... you wouldn't even pick up her calls!" Ravi was emotionally breaking up.

"Yes!.. I did all that!" Arathy started reciprocating Ravi's emotion..... "I hated your parents..I hated your mother... I don't like TV shows...I don't like talking about them...I don't like going to temples that often..Your mom takes so much time in temple..I don't have that much time to waste... I'm a doc, I need to spare a lot of time for my profession, I have to keep myself updated... I hate cooking....all my life my parents wanted me study and be a doctor, and I'm the best in my profession at this age...I'm sorry but your mother used to call me up every time for every little doubt that she had about medicines.. that would hamper my days work.. and I didn't want to upset her by saying that on her face..so I ignored her calls.. I'm sorry I tried to be a good daughter and I know how much your mom loved me but I was tired of not being myself... I had no idea that mother was serious that day, if I knew I would have left the world behind... I'm sorry...I've failed as a daughter." Arathy broke down with tears pouring down her cheek..  Ravi stood motionless...

After couple of minutes silence which seemed like eternity... Ravi continued..

"I....I don't know what to say... Then why did you say to my mother that you loved TV shows, and you loved going to temple with her. I've heard you saying these to mom. Why??

"Coz .. I wanted her to love me as well...I thought that was the best way to share and get close to her..."

"So you mean to say all that was a lie!..Why Arathy.??Why did you do this to me? You should have at least talked to me.. let me know what you going through...and I would have sorted it.. We together could have talked to mom..We three could have sat down and have a casual discussion.. Why ..Why Arathy.Why didn't you tell this to me?."

"I thought you would take the wrong way..I knew how much you loved your mom"

"My god... you are educated Arathy..for god's sake you are a doctor... and how could you do such mistakes... you know what all this has cost me...My mother..  I would never get her back."

"I'm sorry... Trust me, each day after that I live with that regret.. I couldn't save one life that I was supposed to... I love you Ravi..... and whatever I did was to get your love." One could sympathise with Arathy as she meant what she said...It wasn't deliberate.

"This whole relation was based on lie Arathy.. Now, how am I supposed to believe that.."

Ravi wanted to drop Arathy back at work but she insisted they drive back home.. She called up her superior and informed that she wasn't coming. It was a long drive back home... Not a single word was spoken... Ravi could here Arathy sobbing... Arathy couldn't even look at Ravi...

As they were near home...Ravi stopped the car.. He composed himself and spoke

"Arathy....I have tried my best to logically take this situation.. I know that you didn't do anything deliberately..I can accept the fact that you love me.... I know you are not evil at heart... But....I can never forget the fact that if you had picked up dad's call that day, mom would still have been here.... It was a mistake on your part...you were not mature enough to tell me the situation.. You are educated and I expected you would take responsibility to sort things out if such things arose... Your mistake... Your mistake has cost me my mother....  she was my love, she was my life....She was the one who insisted that you are the right girl for me.... and your mistake cost me her life... Arathy..I can never ever accept that."

Arathy didn't go back to work ever.. She quit her job after that. Ravi did ask her to continue with her life but never insisted....... As far as Ravi was concerned Arathy was a constant reminder of an unforgivable act, a reminder of a loss that could never be substituted... Life was never the same since then.

It had been 10 years now.. Ravi had lost his dad meanwhile.He still remember his dad's last words on his death bed  "Son.... its time you sort out issues with Arathy...at the end of the day its your life... your mother had chosen her for you.. she wouldn't be too happy to see you like this..patch up with her... Trust me son... A man is nothing without his women"

Things could never patch up with Arathy... she tried her best...but even she realised that was the way it was going to be, forever. They lived in the same house, they had adjusted to live their lives with minimum talk... None of them were happy, but they had made a habit of being unhappy. 

The ringtone of his phone brought Ravi back to the present..Ravi rubbed his moist eyes and took sometime to get back to the reality. He composed himself and checked his phone, it was an unknown number. Little did he know that this call was going to change his life........